


How to Traumatise Tony Stark aka The Annual SHIELD Holiday Party

by vix_spes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack - sort of, Established Relationship, Holidays, Humor, M/M, Office Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:17:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9106318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes
Summary: The Avengers are invited to the annual SHIELD holiday party....





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isisanubis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isisanubis/gifts).



It provided no end of entertainment to Steve – well to just about everyone - that, of all the Avengers, it was Tony who balked at attending the annual SHIELD holiday party. They were still spread all over the city while Stark Tower - soon to be the Avengers Tower - was being rebuilt, but they had all promised to move in as soon as it was completed, some proving more reluctant than others. Steve was alternately moving between Brooklyn and the Tower, Bruce hadn’t been given a choice and was staying with Tony while Thor was moving between Asgard and wherever Jane happened to be. None of them had a clue where Clint and Natasha lived and no amount of questioning seemed able to change that. So, as a compromise, they would meet up occasionally for things that weren't briefings or missions and it was at one of these meetings that the invitation to the SHIELD party was issued by Clint and Natasha.

Given that it was a SHIELD party, it was obvious that Clint and Natasha would be attending and Thor was always happy to celebrate, proclaiming loudly that he would provide a cask of Asgardian mead. Steve was intrigued and Bruce was swayed by the promise that plenty of SHIELD scientists would be present for him to talk to. Tony, however, was not quite so easy to persuade and it was only when Bruce added his quiet plea into the mix that Tony conceded and agreed to attend. At least, he agreed to attend until he arrived at the venue and saw the sign that hung above the door.

'Abandon hope all ye who enter here.'

"Seriously? Seriously, guys. You expect me to go in there with that hanging over the door? I thought this was supposed to be a party? Why am I not surprised that the murder twins have just strolled in as though they haven't a care in the world? If we go in there, are we actually going to come back out again?"

"It's a party Mr Stark, whatever you think of SHIELD, we don't tend to murder our guests."

"Jeez Agent, give a guy a heart attack, why don't you? Can't they fit you with a bell or something?"

Coulson just smiled blithely. "I assure you Mr Stark, you will come out in one piece although we make no promises as to the state of you. As for the sign, its existence is thanks to Agents Barton and Romanov."

"Oh great, how very reassuring. The murder twins did something that led to that sign being put up at a party. Any chance of knowing what they did so we can prepare ourselves?"

"I'm afraid that is above your clearance level, Mr Stark."

"Of course it is. Bloody SHIELD."

“It’s simply a holiday party, Mr Stark. Nothing to be afraid of; we’re all just here to have a good time.”

Unfortunately, Coulson’s reassuring smile as he moved under the sign and into the party had the opposite effect on Tony.

“You’re SHIELD, you don’t know the meaning of the word good time. Hang on a second. Did Agent just smile again? He did, didn’t he? Oh god, that’s two smiles in two minutes. We’re all going to die. J, can you scan this place and see what’s waiting for us?”

“I’m sorry Sir, but there seems to be something blocking my efforts. I am unable to scan this particular area.”

“That’s it, I’m definitely not going in now. Hey! What are you doing?” Tony squawked as Steve hoisted him off his feet and all but carried him inside the room.

“Getting the party started. I’m not hanging around outside all night so if you won’t walk in by yourself then I’ll happily carry you in.”

“You’re a traitor, Steve Rogers.”

“I’m nothing of the sort. Oh look, there’s Agents Barton and Romanov.”

Steve couldn’t help but grin rather wickedly as Tony looked in the direction that Steve was pointing in, only to burst out laughing as Tony immediately groaned and clapped his hands over his eyes moaning “my eyes, my eyes” at the sight of Agent Coulson and Agent Barton locked in a rather steamy kiss as Natasha looked on.

He rather liked this party already.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would prefer to comment on LJ, you can do so [here](http://vix-spes.livejournal.com/263705.html)


End file.
